A couple of years ago I discovered a book that would change my life. The name of the book is Adult Children of Alcoholics, written by Dr. Janet Woititz, and I can barely describe with words the profound impact it’s had on my life. I’ve read it and listened to it multiple times and each time I find something new that helps unlock the answer to a question I didn’t realize I needed to ask.

This is the beginning of a video series I’m going to be doing on TikTok and Instagram that will dive into the book, the #ACOA movement in general and how all of this has helped me to uncover the mystery that has been the meaning of my life. If you’re interested in a comprehensive look at Adult Children of Alcoholics, head over to the website AdultChildren.org where you’ll find an incredible array of resources and information.

Why is this so important to me? I’m glad you asked because I believe this is my mission and if I hadn’t found ACOA I still believe I’d be floundering around, wondering what my purpose in life is. My father was an alcoholic, my maternal grandfather was an alcoholic, three of my maternal uncles are/were and my two brothers in law are/were alcoholics. That’s just the close family members that have struggled with this addiction.

Alcohol has been the biggest constant in my life since the moment I was born. Alcohol has been ever-present in my life, affecting far more than I could ever imagine, but I didn’t know anything different. I have struggled with a sense of identity the vast majority of my life but once I found ACOA, things finally began to make sense. I’m certain there are many of you out there that, like me, have endured the negative impacts of alcohol at some point in your life. I hope I can help you to begin the healing process.

I want to make one thing incredibly clear. I AM NOT HERE TO JUDGE ANYONE. I’m not sitting in an ivory tower thinking I’ve solved some existential problem and now I will tell everyone what they need to do to get better like me. Absolutely not because I’m not better; I still struggle day in and day out to square with all the bullshit I’ve dealt with because of alcohol. I’m also not here to vilify anyone that has wrestled with alcohol issues. I’ll be completely honest-when I was younger, I drank too much. I was the “party guy” that was pouring shots or heavy drinks. I drank because I thought it made me cool. I drank because I hated myself inside and out-my weight issues and overall lack of self esteem felt a tiny bit better when I was inebriated. The problem with this was that I would feel so much shame after I drank that it created a negative feedback loop. Like the issues Fat Bastard and I had with food-we ate because we hated ourselves and hated ourselves because of what we ate-alcohol served the same purpose. I will say though that I did not enjoy drinking as much as I enjoyed eating and I guess that’s a good thing.

Statistics state that 6% of adults in the United States suffer from an alcohol use disorder but I’d guess that number is far lower than the actual percentage of people that abuse alcohol. It’s very likely that what may feel like an issue you’re dealing with alone is actually quite common. The shame of alcohol is very real and can be an issue that stops you and many people like you from seeking the help that could change your life. That’s why I want to talk about this stuff out in the open-to bring spread the message that you’re not alone, there are answers to questions you’ve had your entire life and hopefully bring some smiles out in the face of the alcoholic ugliness.

To begin this series, I’m going to cover the first five questions on the list of 25 questions that are used to discover whether you’re an adult child of an alcoholic. A screenshot from AdultChildren.com of the 25 questions is below if you’d like to check it out for yourself or click the link to go to the website. You can find me on both IG and TikTok @onehandman77.

This stuff isn’t easy to write about so please forgive me if I fumble my words or the structure of these posts. I’m committed to this though and I hope I can help even one person. It’s taken me a long time to get to a point I feel comfortable speaking about this publicly. Feel free to drop me a line or comment below if you have questions. Check out the ManVsMood Podcast on all major podcast platforms for more discussion on mental health and men. Thank ya’ll for being great and I’m looking forward to this!

I.Am.Will