People Pleasing and Parenthood
This is a great post for those of us that have been and are currently people-pleasers. I wanted to look at this from the POV as a parent and how we can engage in people-pleasing behaviors with our children. Check out the original post on the Instagram by Hailey Paige Magee.
#2 in this list speaks about letting others handle their own problems instead of rushing in. If you’re a parent then I’d bet dollars to doughnuts that you’ve done this. You see little Timmy or Susie struggling with something, doesn’t matter the age, and we rush over to help them. If we do this over a long period of time, we create a relationship where the child lacks problem-solving skills as well as handling our own codependency issues. We like to be their savior, it makes us feel good *in the moment*. As I speak about often, society today focuses on instant gratification and helping our kids scratches the itch that is codependency AND gives us the #InstaGrat we’ve been conditioned to crave. This *is not* healthy for the kids or ourselves. We’ve got to empower our kids to solve their own problems, this is where they gain confidence, this is how they begin to understand self esteem and they’re looking for guidance from us rather than a solution. It’s hard, really hard, but if we want our kids to be emotionally healthy, this is where we begin. Kids are suffering from depression and anxiety at very young ages and this is a big reason why. Because I was born with one hand, I have had to learn to do things differently than everyone else that walks this earth. I had to do it because nobody will be there to help me tie a fishing knot, lift weights or whatever is harder for me than everyone with two hands. I believe that’s why I can overcome so much, I know that I’ve got to be the one to solve my own problems.
I was moved to discuss this when I read this post. I see so much about the poor mental health of our kids and I want to help myself and others to appreciate how important we as parents are to the future of our children. We give them the tools to lead a fulfilling life by teaching them, caring for them and leading them to believe in themselves and what they’re capable of. That old saying “this is harder on me than you” is never more true than in this particular situation. Parenting is the hardest job anyone can ever have and also the most fulfilling when we see the fruits of our labor come to fruition.