That’s a fairly ominous title, I know that. As men though, I think it presents something many of us long for because we need to be challenged. I’ve covered in my first blog post what ManVsMood is about from my point of view, so this post is an opportunity to expand on that. What is this new beginning I speak of? I’m glad you asked.

Something that has impacted me, or maybe more adeptly referred to as afflicted me, is a constant desire to find meaning in what I do professionally. Honestly, this is something I’ve struggled with for a long time. When I was in college, I had several majors including business and criminal justice. I concluded early on that criminal justice probably wasn’t the best route for me. I have a handicap, not one I would ever lean on, but I still have one nonetheless. I don’t have a left hand which in my mind isn’t that big of a deal but when one is dealing with criminals (allegedly) it’s probably a good idea to have all of your faculties at your disposal. I trained with the local police department and found police work to be very interesting. I love to solve things, search for things and really like the mental warfare of negotiating. Despite all of that, I understand my shortcomings and knew that without a hand my ability to subdue a would-be subject would prove quite tough. The other thing that constantly dogged me was that I struggle with assertiveness. This is a subject I’ll be tackling quite a bit on this blog because I know I’m not the only one that struggle with it. So, of course having issues with assertiveness, I went into sales. Prooooobably wasn’t the best move but I think if I would have stayed with my dad’s real estate investment company where I got my start that I would have succeeded. Things don’t always work out they way we plan so I went into residential real estate for many years and then the mortgage world where I was not happy at all. That my friends is why I’m writing this today.

A Lifetime Of Wondering

What do I mean by that? Well for me, I’ve always known that my greatest strength is attempting to understand other humans. I have a unique ability to see and hear people people and decipher what they’re actually saying. This isn’t something I went to a school for, it was a “talent” if you will that I developed as the child of an alcoholic father. I usually have a good handle on the emotional state of people just by interacting with them for a short time. This is honestly a guess on my part, that I developed this as a child, but I can feel people in a way that I’ve learned over the years others can’t. This has led me to have a significant interest in others and the human condition; what is it that makes people tick? That question is exactly why we’re here and one I certainly don’t think I’ll ever have an answer to, but that’s a good thing in my opinion. If I believed there was an answer then I think that would cloud my judgement of humans.

Understanding Myself

I’ve had many years to try and figure this out. I’m still not there yet and I don’t think I ever will be because I, like everyone else, is constantly changing even if those changes are small. I happened upon a book in the last year called Adult Children of Alcoholics that brought a loooooot of answers into my life. As you can see from this blog post, there are distinct issues that ACoA’s deal with on a regular basis. I really want to shine light on more of this topic as I believe that many folks would benefit from it. Ultimately I think this website/blog will help me and hopefully many others at least get a grasp on who they are, especially men since we tend to detach ourselves from who we are because we have a mission to protect and serve our families.

Changing

That’s why I’m writing this post. We’re always changing, whether we admit it or not. Aging makes this more and more apparent since experiences are what form the basis for us as a person, all the way back to when we were babies. I made a big change, leaving a job in a career that would provide significant economic opportunities but wasn’t fulfilling because the people involved in that business are, how can I say this politely, despicable. Not all of them mind you, but the hyper-successful sales people are typically willing to bend rules, hurt others for their own benefit and sacrifice relationships all for the mighty dollar. I just couldn’t sleep at night if I knew I had to screw people over to make my money and that’s why I know I wasn’t the best salesman. I didn’t have what it took and frankly I don’t know that I wanted what it took because I saw how truly unhappy so many of the so-called successful people were inside. They may have a nice car and lots of bling but that doesn’t mean they’re happy.

What’s Next?

I left the sales world, the mortgage and real estate worlds so that I can open my own company that will, Lord willing and the Creek don’t rise, be what I do for the rest of my life. I’m in an educational program that will help me achieve my entrepreneurial goals and help me grow my new company. That company will help small businesses to market themselves without having to empty their bank accounts on advertising or learn how to produce material for the digital age we now live in. Over the years I’ve learned that most folks don’t have a good handle on the power of social media, content production and how to leverage both to build their businesses. I want to do that and bring on a new form of advertising that we’ll delve into further down the road. For now, it’s time to start building, inch by inch, foot by foot, brick by brick. I hope you’ll ride with me.