What is a challenge? If you type the word challenge into the Google machine you’ll see several definitions, the second being “an objection or query as to the truth of something, often with an implicit demand for proof”. That’s kind of a mouth/ear full but I think it provides us an opportunity to really think about what a challenge is to each of us and how we define it. There are hard and fast definitions to any word but how each of us thinks/acts upon those definitions is what actually defines each of us.

I don’t mean to get too meta when discussing word definitions. What I’m trying to say is that each of us has our own thoughts on what words mean and how we will use those definitions in our lives.

Challenges are like oxygen to me because my life has been filled with them. I’m no hero, I haven’t accomplished anything notable outside of my home but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen my fair share of difficulties. Why did I say outside of my home you may ask? That’s because I firmly believe that raising two sons with my amazing wife has been my greatest accomplishment in my life. I have many more accomplishments ahead of me, but if I died tomorrow, I’d be content with that accomplishment.

Seven Digits

Back to the oxygen in my life that is challenge. You may or may not know that I was born without a left hand. Technically, I had ten fingers when I was born but the digits on my left hand were stunted because, according to very smart doctors, I punched through the placenta. In order to save my life and possibly my mom’s life, her body essentially sealed around my fingers to create a seal. In doing so, I lost all but maybe a couple millimeters off my fingers, which was rough obviously but the alternative (death) wasn’t something I really wanted. After a birth which saw both my mother and I on the brink of dying, I entered this world ready to take it on, fingers or not.

Now I know many folks would say my biggest challenge in life would be that I live with seven digits in a ten digit world. Maybe they’re right but that’s not the way I see it. The way I see it is that I don’t know any different. I’ve always been this way (except for the six surgeries I’ve had and the 3 digits that were amputated when I was around 10 years old) so why would it be any more of a challenge? Would it be nice to have four arms and 6 legs? Sure, but that’s not the reality of being a human. None of us know what that would be like so we move forward through time with the arms and legs we have with no wonder of a being a human-spider (except for that time you contemplated numerous appendages after sharing a joint with that dude from…..wait, that story is for another time).

Regardless of what I’ve never had, I appreciate to a degree the challenges that I get to deal with. It has helped me understand, appreciate, embrace and endure what it means to face adversity front and center. This is what helps separate all of us, what makes us who we are when the crucible of life is forming us day-in and day-out. This is where we either remove or instill the victim mentality that has become so en vogue lately. A mentality that only serves one purpose-to stop you from being the best version of yourself each morning when you get up.

Embrace The Suck

Hooooo boy, do I love the saying “embrace the suck”. I don’t know who coined it but it sure helps when you don’t think you can accomplish what you’ve set out to crush. Those three little words can change your life. I mean it, if you can take those words to heart and use them to fuel your will then you can overcome that little voice we all have that says “just take the easy route”. When it comes to many things that require two hands, I don’t get an easy route. I just have to deal with it because not one person gives a damn whether I play sports, lift weights or frankly accomplish anything. We are the only ones that can flip that switch. We are the only ones that can get off our rear ends to workout or do the laundry or teach the kids how to potty train (this has other positive benefits like not wiping a child’s ass ever ever ever ever ever again).

I know I’m starting to get into Jocko territory. If you want to see what true “embrace the suck” mentality looks like, check out Jocko Willink. He’s been a big influence on my life, that’s for sure. What I really want all of us to understand is that it does take an inner strength to overcome that little voice I was quoting in the paragraph above. But I want you to know that you have the mute button for that voice at all times. Pretend that voice is a commercial for a bowel enhancer or politician (oddly enough, both examples are related by shit) and smash that mute button. This won’t happen overnight, within a week or even a month. It takes time to train that part of your brain if you haven’t been using it like you should. So start small, set yourself up for success by identifying little challenges you may have avoided and engage them with your new mute button.

Looks Are Deceiving

This is obvious but what I mean is that we all struggle. I don’t care who you are, how great your life looks on IG or the amazing things you tout to the world via social media. We all struggle with challenges, likely on a daily basis. Remind yourself of this when you’re on the crapper, scrolling through your third cousin twice removed (I have no idea if this is even possible) Facebook page showing off the new girlfriend he’s so proud of (post hair plugs of course, but that’s not for public consumption). I bring this up to force you to remember this. If we’re not careful we can succumb to The Force that is jealousy. Don’t ever compare yourself to another person, strive to be the best version of yourself rather than attempting the impossible which is trying to be someone you can never be. That is a challenge right there, if this is something you may have an issue with, then lean into breaking free from the bonds of envy. Easier said than done, I know, but you’ve got to start somewhere. Which leads me to the last point I’ll cover in this post.

Stop Thinking and Start Doing

This is becoming a cliche in 2021. When you doom scroll Twitter or any other social media and you are even remotely into the self-improvement sphere, then I’m certain you’ve seen this mantra. It’s repeated over and over and it really is a great thing to keep in mind. You’ll never have a lack of challenges in your life, they’ll be there for you each day when you bust out of bed. It’s how you approach them that will help decide whether you actually accomplish them. When I weighed over 400 pounds, I’m going to tell you straight-up, that I thought I was destined to die before I was 50 and waddle everywhere I went. I didn’t see a clear path towards being a healthy adult and that’s because I could only focus on being “skinny” rather than the challenge and journey that would be losing over 200 pounds. So how did I do it? Well I contacted a personal trainer that would come to my house each day to force me into using the West Wing of my estate (where I’d just completed construction of a 28,000 square foot home gym complete with all of the newest fitness equipment and Olympic-size swimming pool). Along with the trainer, Wolfgang Puck and Emeril Lagasse would alternate days chefing up their world-class cuisine that was both gluten free AND low in calories. Just like that, by spending several million dollars and working out 8 hours a day, I was able to lose that 200 pounds!!

Are you kidding me? None of that ever happened. You know how I started my journey to losing all that weight? I got up after a particularly fat-laden meal, pissed off at myself, and walked around the neighborhood for an hour. I did this every single day. I also gave myself three rules to follow to lose the weight:

1. No wheat

2. Nothing fried

3. No food with added sugar

That’s it, that was how I started. Once I got down to a reasonable weight and in shape enough to lift weights, I got in the gym. Now, I am in the gym at least five days a week. I do it because I still find challenges in pushing myself physically and because I refuse to EVER be morbidly obese in my life.

Find your inner bullshit mute button, smash it and enjoy the fruits of challenging yourself to be better. I guarantee you’ll be happy you did it. Peace be with all of you.